The role of the wife in the home is to “submit” to their husbands. Submission means “to arrange or set yourself under.” It means to position yourself under the authority of someone else. People can twist this to mean that you are forced to be used and abused in some way, completely controlled as a piece of property, but that is not the case. Husbands use the scripture, “Wives submit yourself to your husbands,” so they can be positioned as some dictator in the marriage or home. However, before the wives submit, the husbands are to “Love their wives as Christ loves the church.” It is a love that is incomparable and incomprehensible, unmatched by anyone else.

The wife’s submission and understanding of her position in the home must reflect the church’s relationship with and position to Jesus Christ. This does not mean that the wife has no will, but rather must not be controlling or manipulative in the relationship, just as in the same manner as the husband must not be abusive or controlling in the marriage. Ephesians 5:21 says, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” A wife must “reverence” her husband, meaning that she is to be the helpmate she was called to be and honor him as her spouse.

If a wife has an unsaved husband, she is still to submit and reverence her husband in a “godly” manner. Again, that does not mean that she has no will and is forced to do whatever her husband says and wants her to do. However, hopefully by her righteous submission and behavior, she can set the example of what it means to be a Christian and win her husband to the LORD. 1 Peter 3:1-4 says, “1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” The behavior and words of a wife should spiritually impact and convict their husbands to the LORD. It is more than being attractable to them physically, but also adorning their hearts through love, righteousness, and humility, exposing the void in their hearts to know that they need God.

Before you say, “I do”, it pays to know that you are submitting under a head that loves you with everything in his heart and life. But if you make the choice to marry someone who does not know Jesus Christ and is unequally yoked with you, which I must say can be a foolish one, it is up to you to shine the light. Your decision to marry them will never change who they are; only God’s love can do that. Regardless, you must demonstrate God’s Word and love through submission.

As far as the mother’s role in the home, it is equally the same as the father’s. Mothers must nurture their children in love and discipline. Of course, a mother’s love is truly unique because of being the one who gives birth to her child, and that love should not grow weaker, but only stronger! If wives choose to submit to their husband and love and discipline their children, they then will fulfill their Christian responsibilities in the family that God has designed!