If you are on Facebook, you may be familiar with the “friend’s lists” that people have on their page. You can be the cool guy who has 3,000 friends, but chances are that you probably know a couple hundred of them. Then, there is a greater chance that only a couple of them that you would truly call a friend. A friend is someone who holds you accountable. It is someone who is there to support you in your toughest times, when the money is gone and the pain has intensified. Friends tell you the truth, even when you do not want to listen to it or accept it. You can confide in them your deepest hurts and secrets because you have the confidence that they will not tell them to someone else. Friends are hard to find, but they are needed in order to have the encouragement and strength you need to continue in life and live out your purpose.

In order to have friends, you must be friendly. This proverb from Solomon may seem so basic, and yet it carries a whole lot of meaning. Too many in the church have been isolated to the place where they feel alone, and we must put to a stop to that. Some people do not make themselves available to be friendly because they do not feel welcomed, appreciated or just do not fit in. As believers, we must be united and avoid cliques. While you will be closer to some than others, if an individual seems to be by himself or herself, make it a point to check upon them by making yourself available for conversation. Demonstrate the love of God to them, sympathizing with knowing how it would feel to be in those very same shoes. Not one warrior should be separated from the army. Go after them!

On the other hand, some who do not have many friends may not because they have allowed a victim mentality to overtake them to the point that they feel as though no one loves or cares about them. They do not make themselves available through friendship and have separated themselves from everyone else. Instead of dealing with the symptoms, we must get to the root of problem. It could be a spirit of depression that has come from one generation to the next. It could be a bondage that came in one’s childhood from suffering bullying or even verbal abuse from a parent. Whatever the reason may be, you must get to the source, confess it to God, and allow the strength and power of the Holy Spirit to minister to that need and bring total deliverance. Once God reveals those dark areas of bondage and weakness in your life and then heals you, then He changes you in such a way that you can pursue and develop friendships with the right people. Do not seek for friends who will only tear you down and separate you from God, but rather those who can make you stronger spiritually and be your support when you need it most!